


it must be despair

by renard_rouge



Category: Miraculous Ladybug
Genre: Bisexual Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Dorks in Love, F/F, Lesbian Chloé Bourgeois, Marinette being a Bi Disaster™, Mutual Pining, Pining, Songfic, well its more implied-
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-05
Updated: 2021-01-05
Packaged: 2021-03-15 21:42:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28570965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renard_rouge/pseuds/renard_rouge
Summary: chloé's just a gay, singing away her pining for a certain marinette.
Relationships: Chloé Bourgeois/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug
Comments: 4
Kudos: 75





	it must be despair

**Author's Note:**

> the song's despair by leo. enjoy!

It was midnight on a school day; it's old as a few lights glare on the streets and being barren of life, except for a couple of strays walking alone on the streets or some wandering as their minds did as well.

Chloé, on the other hand, is in her suite, procrastinating yet again. Sleep seems hard to come by to the blonde these days ever since she started doing her school works; it takes a lot of time for her to finish her works since she gets distracted a lot.

And right now, a certain ravenette is the cause of the distraction.

Chloé groaned, "I can't do this!" She exclaimed as she got up from her desk, sliding the chair back, walking to her bed, and flopped face-first as she grumbled to herself. 

The blonde then stood up and paced around the room, wanting to get her focus back. "This is the exact reason why I gave all my works to Sabrina! Homeworks are a literal waste of time and are boring as fuck! And that adorable goody-two-shoes is—ugh!" The blonde threw her hands in the air and huffed, going to her bed once again, kneeling as she attempts to grab something under her bed.

Once she finally felt the neck of her ukulele, she grabs it out of the dark and looks at it with a small smile when it's out. Though, her face contorts into a grimace as she realizes that it has some dust on it. She blows the dust away, but to no avail, so she gets up and goes to her closet to grab a clean handkerchief. 

After cleaning her ukulele, she tests its tuning if it's in standard tune and smiles as she hears the ukulele chime. Nobody knows, except maybe for Adrien and Sabrina, but she adores music. Chloé's not much as a composer like Nino and Luka but knows how to play a couple of instruments. Her favorite is the ukulele for its portable and cute. 

She settles unto her bed and goes through some chords as she tries to rack her brain up for songs to let up some pining she's been going through. Then, her heart flutters as she remembers a song that perfectly explains her situation. She inhales then exhales as she starts the chord progression of the intro. As she reaches the last chord, G, she smiles as she starts singing;

_ "I've lost my cool, _

_ I'm not sure how to act. _

_ Not even sure how I can keep my pride intact. _

_ Well, I don't know if this is it, _

_ But can't you see? _

_ No, I'm not falling for you. _

_ So, please have mercy on me." _

The lyrics speak to her as if she's the one who wrote it as she remembers her denial for Marinette in the last couple of years. She remembers the times she pushes her away, where her petty rivalry with her started. She remembers the day when she met her at about 7yrs old. Chloé keeps in her mirth as she's still singing when she remembers giving her a note saying 'get out of my school' because of the sheer adoration she felt for her on the first day of school.

_ "'Cause it's not romantic, I swear! _

_ I'm not gasping for air~ _

_ I want you to be here, _

_ But please don't come near! _

_ 'Cause even though I'm pretty sure my head's exploding, _

_ I'm not ready for hand-holding. _

_ It's not love, I swear~ _

_ It might be closer to despair." _

She lets out a fond sigh as she goes through another chord progression, then frowns. She still denies it from time to time since she's now friends with arguably, the most beautiful ravenette she'd ever come across. The blonde wants nothing more than to make the friendship last long, even if her heart aches as she wants it to be more. She's been selfish enough these years, so she bites down on her tongue and accepts the friendship with grace with being ignorant to her love interests. Chloé knows if she regards the blond and the musician, it would only bring unwarranted jealousy and drama. As the chord progression once again comes to an end, she starts the verse's chord progression and opens her mouth to sing once again;

_ "No, I don't want you to teach me how to dance. _

_ Get your heart away from me, _

_ You'll put me into a trance. _

_ And even though I think about you day and night... _

_ I'm not sure if this whole love thing, _

_ Sounds quite right." _

The blonde let out a few tears at the last lyrics. Chloé knows, herself, that she's not a great person; her past actions shine that. But the ravenette always comes to her aid whenever she voices these concerns, always says otherwise, and she's so damn thankful for it. She doesn't know if she deserves her, doesn't know if she deserves requited love in general. Since she's such a bitch sometimes and can't stamp down her anger quick enough to not snap at anyone sometimes. Still, she tries so hard, tries to be the best person that the ravenette might learn to love, and because of that, she feels selfish, and that word always leaves a bitter taste in her mouth. 

_ "'Cause it's not romantic, I swear! _

_ I'm not gasping for air~ _

_ I want you to be here, _

_ But please don't come near. _

_ 'Cause even though I'm pretty sure my head's exploding, _

_ I'm not ready for hand-holding. _

_ It's not love, I swear~ _

_ It might be closer to despair. _

_ 'Cause even though I'm pretty sure my head's exploding, _

_ I'm not ready for hand-holding. _

_ It's not love, I swear! _

_ It might be... _

_ Closer... _

_ To despair~." _

As she lets the last chord progression play out, she lets out a sigh of relief. Singing always calms her down, giving her an out whenever she feels overwhelmed by emotion, whether it be sadness, anger, or, in the present's case, love. It brought down a bit of her giddiness and longing from her crush, and she feels like she could finally focus on the homework she left on her desk. 

Wiping her tears away from earlier, she stood up from her bed and went to her desk, sitting down. The blonde cracks her knuckles, readying herself but paused when she heard a familiar whizzing sound. She faced to the glass door that led to her balcony and raised an eyebrow when she didn't see a certain red heroine. The blonde shrugs to herself and organizes the paper, grabbing her pen to start her homework again.

Unaware of a certain ravenette swinging away from the balcony, trying to compose herself as her face is ablaze, her cheek's color ironically fitting her costume.

**Author's Note:**

> me?? projecting?? unto?? chloe?? haha, no—
> 
> anyways, i hoped you liked the fic!


End file.
